Anonymous 4 After Anderson Walkman Buttholes lyrics

Anonymous 4 After Anderson Walkman Buttholes lyrics

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Anonymous 4 After Anderson Walkman Buttholes lyrics

Send "Anonymous 4 After Anderson Walkman Buttholes" Ringtone to your Cell Now, you wanna talk about bladder problems, then the man you wanna talk to will probably be my cousin Earl. I guess you all know Earl; he lives out on Route 13 out on that maggot farm. Earl don`t like it when you get his maggot farm confused with a worm farm. A worm farm is for worms, and a maggot farm is for maggots, and Earl`s got the biggest maggots in the state. Three feet long. Of course, now Earl pleads this might be due to the fact that St. Smithen`s Medical Facility has been dumping their waste on his property. Interesting thing about three-foot maggots in that...that, well, one day China disappeared, and the next day his television disappeared, and a few days after that, his `57 Chevy disappeared. But there they are: the world`s biggest maggots. Anyway, one day, Earl and I were standin` in the kitchen, giant maggots crawlin` across the floor, and Earl turns to me, and he says, `Do you ever go to make a pork sausage, and find that it`s got hairs all over it?` and he gives me a look that still chills me to this day. Now, Earl`s got a son, and they call him Earl Junior, which I think is pretty clever, since he is Earl`s son. He`s not really a normal boy, ever since that tractor accident. Anyway, he ran up $5,000 in `976-` phone bills. He called weird, unnatural numbers, like `976-PIGG` with two G`s, and `976-SHEEP`, which has five letters in it, I know. He`s a sick boy. Earl suggested that, well, maybe I talk to him. So I went into his bedroom, and I sat him down, but before I could say a word, Earl Junior looked at me, and he said, `Didja ever go to make a pork sausage, and find it`s got hairs all over it?` And he gave me a look that still chills me to this day. Now, Earl`s got a daughter, and they call her Effie- Sue. And Effie-Sue, she don`t look so much like a little girl, as she looks like a...a big pile of fungus. Earl blames this, too, on the fact that St. Smithen`s Medical Facility has been dumping on his maggot farm. Yeah, I never had much contact with Essie...Effie-Sue. Excuse me, I don`t even think that much of her to get her name right. I never had much contact with her. She just normaally just sits on the couch like a little ball of fungus and just ...boils away. Well, one day, she looked at me, and that little ball of fungus opened its mouth (or what I guess was its mouth - I`d hate to think what else it could be), and out of that orifice floated the words, `Didja ever go to make a...a pork sausage and find it`s got hair all over it?`, and then that... that little ball of fungus gave me a look that chills me to this day. Now, Earl`s got a wife, and we call her...Wife. We don`t know her name, because she`s never really said that much. For the longest time, we thought she could only say two words, which were `dog` and `pussy`. We thought that meant `dog` and `cat`, but then we found out that what she was really trying to say was `dog-pussy`, one big hyphenated word, which doesn`t come up much in conversation, especially amongst Baptists. We never heard her say anything other than that. You know, she works down at...at St. Smithen`s Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery, got a good-paying job there, although she only does say those...well that one word. And we have heard her say another thing once, but that was a long time ago. We were sittin` around the house, and she looked at me, and she said, `Do you ever go to make a pork sausage, and find that it`s got hairs growin` all over it?`, and she gave me a look that chills me to this day. Now, one day, Earl took his whole family fishin` down in Miller`s Creek. He took his wife, who could only say `dog-pussy`; he took his son, Earl Junior, who took the day off from calling `976-` barnyard numbers; and he took that little...that little ball of fungus daughter, Effie-Sue, of his along with him. They all got in a little boat and they started fishing. Now St. Smithen`s Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery has been known to dump their stuff into Miller`s Creek. All sorts of heinous stuff, big barrels floatin` in the creek, with little things on them that say `St. Smithen`s Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery`. Anyway, Earl was fishing, and he caught a wall-eyed bass, which had twenty-seven eyes on it. It was a twenty-seven-eyed wall-eyed bass. Earl looked at it, and decided, `Mmmm, wouldn`t this be good to eat!` So he took out his knife to cut it open. But that fish looked up at him, and it said, `Please, mister! Please, don`t eat me!` And Earl said, `But I`m hungry! I`m hungry! I work on a maggot farm! My wife can only say `dog-pussy`! My daughter is a pile of fungus! My son spent all his college money calling `976-` numbers! I have to eat you!` And that fish said, `Please, don`t eat me, mister, please!` And he said, `I have to! I have to!` So the fish said, `Alright then, if you`re gonna to cut me open, let me ask you one question: Didja ever go to eat a pork sausage and find that it`s got hairs growin` all over it?` And then, all twenty-seven eyes stared back at Earl, and they stared back at his wife who could only say `dog- pussy`, and they stared back at his weird `976-` animal-calling son, and they stared back at that... little pile of pus that passes for Earl`s daughter. And they gave them a look! All twenty-seven eyes gave them a look! A look that they would not forget until this very day! 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