Baby lyrics

Baby - Stephen Lynch
This is for my little girl
My lady gives birth today
I run to her room right away
She smiles with glee and hands her to me
I look at my newborn and say

Damn that`s an ugly baby
Damn that`s an ugly ass baby
I`m feeling quite concerned
My semen must have turned
`Cause damn that`s an ugly baby

I can`t believe this came from me
I think her mom did too much LSD
she`s skinny like a twig
at least her nuts are big
but the placenta is cuter than she

Damn that`s an ugly baby
God damn that`s an ugly ass baby
I can`t take her home today
She`ll scare the dog away
`cause damn that`s an ugly baby

And when she smiles I find
Shane McGowen comes to mind
It makes me want to cry
When I look into her good eye
I always wanted kids
Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?
Then the doctor calls me in
Mr. Lynch she has a twin

Damn that`s a good-lookin` baby
One for two on the good lookin` babies
I almost start to weep
Now this one we can keep
cause that was an ugly ass baby

Damn that`s an ugly baby (x4)
She`s got one good tooth and one ear and one eye
And thank god just one nose but it`s on her left thigh
Now doctor I am asking you guy to guy
Would a really really really late term abortion apply
Oh no, I don`t want no ugly baby
I said damn that`s an ugly ass baby
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