Goodbye to all my friends I`ve known
And the travel agent I trusted.
I`m riding along on this beat-up old plane;
Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted.
As that ground crew pushes us backwards
On that rickety L-1011,
I`m feeling around for that flotation device,
And when the safety film is shown,
I`m payin` close attention.
Beat-up old jetliner,
Hope you got a tune-up today.
Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner,
Did they sneak you past the FAA?
Bouncin` `round in a thunder cloud,
Landing gear won`t come down.
My seatback is up and my belt is on.
I see the fire crews sprayin` foam on the ground.
And if I get to my final destination,
I know the next flight will surely be free.
But I don`t think I`ll go back up
Into that piece of shit just to save a few pennies.
Beat-up old jetliner
Won`t carry me too far today.
Ohhhh, give me a fresh airliner;
I don`t care what I`ve got to pay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beat-up old jetliner,
Don`t carry me too far today.
Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner,
`Cause it`s home that I`d rather stay.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
I`ve just turned off the no-smokin` sign.
I figure, hell, if the plane`s smokin` why shouldn`t you Send " Beat Up Old Jetliner" Ringtone to your Cell