I met this girl in a Birmingham taxi
I got it first, but she slipped in before me
Just as I was telling her, hey this is mine, ho
She`d already told the cab driver where to go
Me - I always show respect for the ladies
I sat back and let her have it her way
So good lord sees me through darkness and light
I tell you what I remembered from that night
I`m hungry, do you fancy a little something to eat?
I can`t go on forever on Cognac and weed
But she was already on the way down in the seat
I tried to stop her, or maybe I didn`t
So there I was in a strange situation
The chauffeur said I can drop you off at the station
I said no man, no don`t
I tell you when to stop keep your eyes on the road
You don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
No, you don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
You don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
Two hours later, she was still at it
The driver had to refill gasoline and shit
Baby baby, introduce yourself
What`s your name, girl?
My name is Fred
Fred?
Fred, yeah
Fred, a`what a`what did you say?
Now that put me back a bit `cos I`m not gay
Now that put me back a bit `cos I`m not gay
You don`t have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK
No, you don`t have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK
You don`t have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK
So whatever kind of trouble you might get yourself into
Just think of me that night and what I went through
I thought it was Helen or Marie or whatever, giving me head
Until I realized it was this dude called Fred ... Hello
And that was a Birmingham Ho
Hey, ho hey, ho hey
And that was a Birmingham Ho
Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey
Take it away now..
Hold on a minute, that`s bullshit
You told me it was a microphone
And wanted me to sing in it
I have a lot of friends and I do lots of things for them
I don`t think it`s me, I think it`s you that have a problem
So zip up and try to be a gentleman
I have feelings too and I don`t need you to hurt them
So zip up and try to be a gentleman
So zip up and try to be a gentleman
You don`t have to be gay to make a FRD feel good OK
No, you don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
You don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
You don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
No, you don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK
You don`t have to be gay to make a FRED feel good OK