Bizarre Christmas Incident lyrics

(Ho, ho, ho...Play it Grandpa...Yeah, play it...Let`s tell them a little story

about what happened this Christmas.... Yeah, tell them... tell `em `bout

Christmas)



Christmas Eve, I didn`t get much sleep

I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney

Who could it be?



(I`ll tell you what it was... What happened then, Ben?... Yeah, what

happened?... Well, I went back to sleep... You went back to sleep? Back to

sleep? Shit... Tired man, went back to sleep)



And in the morning, I couldn`t believe my eyes

A whale of a corpe with a long white beard

Was dangling over the fire



oh, Santa he`s a big fat fuck

Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck

Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast

`Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my ass

hey, hey, hey



(Ok grandpa, step up, sing in this thing right here, tell `em what you saw,

tell `em what you saw grandpa)



I gotta tell you folks,

He wasn`t wearin no clothes

He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil

from his back down to his toes

While I was talking to the cops outside

The dog was lickin Crisco off of his thighs

They hauled him away in a double-wide

What a sad, sad way to die

Hey, hey, hey



Santa, he`s a big, fat fuck

went down the chimney, got his fat ass

oh, honey call the lawyers fast,

Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass
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