Blackmail lyrics

Well, your father`s in Bermuda

And the milkman`s overjoyed

Your maid is into bondage

And I`ve got Polaroids



And I was on the corner

When you wrecked your mother`s Porsche

But why should I inform her

About your poor misfortune?



`Cause everyone has secrets

But sometimes you get caught

So if it`s just between us

My silence can be bought

Blackmail . . . blackmail



I was looking through your closet

When I found your water bong

Your stash of Turkish hash

And a twelve-inch rubber dong



And I won`t tell your family

About your last abortion

So you can call it "bribery"

But I prefer "extortion"



Well, my counselor is a dealer

And the football coach is queer

The school nurse and the dean of boys

Are having an affair



And someone shot the rent-a-cop

And I`m the only witness

But I won`t tell you who it was

`Cause it`s none of your business