Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel
There`s nothing Nietzsche couldn`t teach ya
`bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stewart Mill of his own free will
on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato they say could stick it away
`alf a crate of whisky every day
Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
`I drink, therefore I am`
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he`s pissed
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MONTY PYTHON lyrics