Cemetery Polka lyrics

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He`s a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
Plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
Made a million during World War Two
But they`re tightwads and they`re cheapskates
And they`ll never give a dime to you

Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is `Go to hell`

Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
And there ain`t no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill will never leave a will
And the tumor is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, she`s Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg

Uncle Phil can`t live without his pills
He has emphysema and he`s almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He`s a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss
Back to: WAITS TOM lyrics