Dating Game lyrics

(Host Intro)
Let`s meet contestant #1
He`s a schitzophrenic cereal killer clown
Who says women love his sexy smile.
Let`s find out if his charm will work on Sharon.
Sharon, what`s your question?

(Sharon)
Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever,
So let`s say you were to come over to my parents` house
And have dinner with me and my family.
Tell me what you`d do to make that first impression really stay.

Let`s see, hmm, well I`d have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, ha! But I doubt it.
I`d probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you!
Hurry up bitch I`m hungry, I smell spaghetti,
I`d pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready!
Your dad would probably start trippin and get me pissed
I`d have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips!
It`s dinner time, we`re hearin grace from your mother
I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother
I`m standing staring at your sister, I`ll tell you this
You know for only 13 she got some big tits!
After that, your dad would try to jump again
And only this time I`d put the 40 to his chin!
After your mom does the dishes and the silverwear,
I`d dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear!!!!

(Host)
Now let`s meet contestant #2,
He`s a psycopathic derranged crackhead freak
Who works in the Dark Carnival.
He says women call him stretch nuts.
Sharon, let`s hear your question.

(Sharon)
I like a man who`s not afraid to show his true emotions,,
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
#2, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?

First in, I could never love you
You sound like a richy bitch, yo fuck you!
But if I did, I`d probably show you that I care,
By takin all these other motha fuckers outta here!
I`d go through your phonebook and whack em all
And find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw!
Anyone who looked at ya, would have to pay
I`d be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day!
Grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist
Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I`d sing love songs to ya, the best I can
Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman
and walk in the sand
I`d throw a little in your face and say I`m just playin
As you spit it all out, I`ll buck your back
Grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!!!

(Host)
Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with sensetivity Sharon,
It`s a tough choice so far,
Sharon, let`s have your last question
And see which one is gonna win the right to your next date

(Sharon)
Ok, if we were at a dance club,
And you both noticed me at the same time,
Tell me, how would you each get my attention
And what would your pick up lines be?
Whoever`s the smoothest wins!

Ok, first, I`d slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can`t believe how fuckin fat you are!
I`d tell ya that I like the way you make your titties shake,
And if you lost a little weight you`d look like Rikki Lake.

Fuck that! You`d be jackin me quick!
I`d order you a drink, and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in a crowded place,
I`d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!

Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yo that`ll get her!

Tell her that she`s fat, yeah, that`ll work even better!

Look, fuck you, I gotta strong rap shit
You don`t want contestant #2 he`s mad whack
I walked into a bar, and there he was
Standing up on a bucket, eeeuuugghhh, tryin ta fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama

Damn dogg!

How you gonna diss yo mama
Back to: INSANE CLOWN POSSE lyrics