Dear Abby lyrics

Dear Abby,

Got a problem. I`m a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. It`s
important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. But we just can`t
afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home some choice cuts from my
autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper:and ta-da!

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what`s
my secret. Abby, I think they`re getting suspicious. My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps
asking, `Where`s all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that`s kept in the fridge.`

If they find out the truth I don`t think they`ll understand. Abby, what do I tell
my family?
DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body`s
blessed and everything should be just fine.