Double Diet lyrics

[Parody of `Picture` by Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow]

I live on burgers, Cheetos, and ice cream
Got nothing but lard in my blood stream
Guess my sweet tooth was something more than a phase
Been fueling up on cupcakes and Twinkies
Gained so much weight my girl left me
She said to call her if I ever change my ways

I put the pizza away
Went on a diet today
I can`t wait till I get thin then I`ll show her
I put the pizza away
I`m gonna lose some weight
I can`t wait till I get thin then I`ll show her

I missed you last night at the hotel
I even missed your bacon and beer smell
Then it finally dawned on me how to make things right
I pulled up to a fast food venue
Ordered everything on the menu
Time to go back home and stuff my face

Picked up a pizza today
I`m gonna power binge
I`m gonna eat till nothing`s left in the fridge
I`m gonna hit the buffet
I`m gonna gain some weight
I can`t wait till I get fat then I`ll show him

Been hitting Ben and Jerry`s for breakfast
You know I finally got the hang of this Slim Fast
Since you`ve been gone
I`ve been gaining/losing so much weight
I`ve been jogging instead of taking the car
I`ve been eating mayonaise straight from the jar
I was making dessert
I was off to lift some weights

Now I`m liking what I see on the scale
So I sent a picture out in the mail
Oh hey look you sent one too
Let`s just.. whoa, hey wait / OMG!

I saw your picture today
I see you`ve changed your ways
You know I think I liked you better the way you were
I saw your picture today
I see you lost/gained some weight
I just called to say don`t bother to come back home
I just called to say don`t bother to come back home
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