Drunk With Dignity lyrics

When you`ve had too much to drink
there`s certain things to keep in mind.
Like when you find your hand and underarms are bleeding
your beer bottle might not have a twist off cap
and don`t ever go home with a woman they call Moose
or Vince
And never bet that you can fit your head inside a glove compartment

Get drunk with dignity
Keep in mind that just because a bulldog licks your face
its not necessary to lick him back
Stay away from drinks with names like
brain seizure or hippo laxative
Get drunk with dignity

If a bar has human ears nailed ot the walls
don`t pass out there
and if your homemade jello has some goldfish in it
you used the wrong bowl
And there are phrases you must learn to avoid
phrases like
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