Eddie the Eunuch was a weasel
Nasty as an old man`s nose
Making believin` he was evil
Struttin` in his mama`s clothes
You know that Eddie had a bad connection
Never had a chance to ball
Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
Dreaming he was ten feet tall
But now Eddie the Eunuch is a rock and roll critic
Sucking like a super star
Slicker than a shoe-shine
Quicker than a two-time
Eddie what a thang you are
Eddie makes a damn good livin`, baby
Putting other people down
Eddie couldn`t ever forgive them baby
`Cause he wasn`t Jackson Browne