Everyone S A Little Bit Racist lyrics

Princeton:
Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

Kate Monster:
Sure!

Princeton:
Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

Kate Monster:
Uh huh.

Princeton:
Well, he`s Trekkie Monster, and you`re Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
Right.

Princeton:
You`re both Monsters.

Kate Monster:
Yeah.

Princeton:
Are you two related?

Kate Monster:
What?! Princeton, I`m surprised at you! I find that racist!

Princeton:
Oh, well, I`m sorry! I was just asking!

Kate Monster:
Well, it`s a touchy subject.
No, not all Monsters are related.
What are you trying say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh?

Princeton:
No, no, no, not at all. I`m sorry,
I guess that was a little racist.

Kate Monster:
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you`re talking about the
sensitive subject of race.

Princeton:
Well, look who`s talking!

Kate Monster:
What do you mean?

Princeton:
What about that special Monster School you told me about?

Kate Monster:
What about it?

Princeton:
Could someone like me go there?

Kate Monster:
No, we don`t want people like you-

Princeton:
You see?!

You`re a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Well, you`re a little bit too.

Princeton:
I guess we`re both a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

Princeton:
But I guess it`s true.

Kate Monster:
Between me and you,
I think

Both:
Everyone`s a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn`t mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one`s really color blind.
Maybe it`s a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -

Kate Monster:
No!

Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Kate Monster:
Right!

Both:
Everyone`s a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone`s a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They`re based on truth.
Don`t take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

Princeton:
All right, stop me if you`ve heard this one.

Kate Monster:
Okay!

Princeton:
There`s a plan going down and there`s only
one paracute. And there`s a rabbi, a priest...

Kate Monster:
And a black guy!

Gary Coleman:
Whatchoo talkin` `bout Kate?

Kate Monster:
Uh...

Gary Coleman:
You were telling a black joke!

Princeton:
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

Gary Coleman:
I don`t.

Princeton:
Well, of course you don`t - you`re black!
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

Gary Coleman:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

Princeton:
Now, don`t you think that`s a little racist?

Gary Coleman:
Well, damn, I guess you`re right.

Kate Monster:
You`re a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
Well, you`re a little bit too.

Princeton:
We`re all a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.

Princeton/Kate Monster:
We`re glad you do.

Gary Coleman:
It`s sad but true!
Everyone`s a little bit racist -

All right!

Kate Monster:
All right!

Princeton:
All right!

Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white

All:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it`s wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

Princeton:
Who?

Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.

Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.

Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, I`m pretty sure that Jesus was black-

Princeton:
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

Brian:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Gary Coleman:
Racism!

Brian:
Cool.

Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!

Princeton:
What`s that mean?

Brian:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don`t laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?

Kate Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone`s a little bit racist.

Brian:
I`m not!

Princeton:
Oh no?

Brian:
Nope!

How many Oriental wives
Have you got?

Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!

Princeton:
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!

Christmas Eve:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!

Brian:
I`m sorry, honey, I love you.

Christmas Eve:
And I love you.

Brian:
But you`re racist, too.

Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I`m always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!

Princeton:
Me too!

Kate Monster:
Me too!

Gary Coleman:
I can`t even get a taxi!

All:
Everyone`s a little bit racist
It`s true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!

Christmas Eve:
Evlyone`s a ritter bit lacist!
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