Genius In France lyrics

I`m not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I`m dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I`m a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France

Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka

I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SATs
I`m not good looking and I don`t know how to dance
But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be
A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France

People say I`m a geek, a moronic little freak
An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber, they`d have to water me twice a week

But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek
They dig my mystique, they say I`m c`est magnifique
When I`m in Par-ee, I`m the chic-est of the chic

They love my body odor and my bad toupee
They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret
And when I`m sipping on a Perrier
In some cafe town in St. Tropez

It`s hard to keep the fans at bay
They say, `Sign my poodle, s`il vous plait`
`Sign my poodle, s`il vous plait`

Hemenene humenene
himenene homenene
Poodle... poodle...

Folks in my hometown think I`m a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool

A few peas short of a casserole
A few buttons missing on my remote control
A few fries short of a happy meal
I couldn`t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

Instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel

But when I`m in Provence, I get free croissants
Yeah, I`m the guy every French lady wants
And if you ask `em why, you`re bound to get this response
(He`s a genius in France! Genius in France!)

That`s right
(He`s a genius in France, genius in France)
You know it
(He`s a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France)

I`m not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
But the folks in France, they don`t seem to agree
They say, `Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?`

I say, `Oui, oui`
That`s right, I say, `Oui, oui`
`Oui, oui`
He says, `Oui, oui`

I`m dumber than a box of hair
But those Frenchies don`t seem to care
Don`t know why, mon frere
But they love me there

I`m a genius in France
Yeah, I`m a genius in France

Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
Gonna make those Frenchies scream
`You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!`

Like a fine Renoir (waa), I`ve got that je me c`est quoi (quoi!)
Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I`ve got that je me c`est ...
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo

Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow

[snort]

I`m a taco short of a combo plate
But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I`m great
Oh, the men all faint and the women scream
They like me more than heavy cream

When I`m in Versailles, I`m a popular guy
My oh my, I`m as French as apple pie (apple pie)
They think I`m awful witty, a riot and a half
When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh(haw haw haw haw haw)
And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)

People in France have lots of attitude
They`re snotty and rude, they like disgusting food
But when they see me, they just come unglued
They think that I am one happening dude

Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
I`m about as sharp as a bowling ball
But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle

Entre nous, it`s very true
The room temperature`s higher than my IQ
But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu
How did this happen; I don`t have a clue

Well, I`m not the quickest tractor on the farm
I don`t have any skills or grace or charm
And most people look at me like I`m all covered with ants
But I`m a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France

And I`m never goin` back, I`m never goin` back
I`m never never never never goin` back home again
I`m tearin` up my return flight ticket
Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick it

`Cause I`m never goin` back
I`m never goin` back
I`m never goin` back

The girls back home never gave me a chance
But I sho` `nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance
And I`m aware that it`s a most improbable circumstance
But `Great Googily Moogily`, I`m a genius in France

Every Frenchie that I meet
Just can`t wait to kiss my feet
Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite!

Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy

I`m gettin` even more famous by the hour
I`m stuffed with pastries and drunk with power
Now they`re puttin` up my statue by the Eiffel Tower

A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left

I`m the biggest dork there is alive
My mom picked out my clothes for me `till I was 35
And I forgot to mention
I`m not even welcome at the Star Trek convention

But the Frenchies think
That my poop don`t stink
I`m a genius in France

Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?
Merci beaucoup
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