Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere Bonus Track lyrics

Parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy (R. Brook), Kris Publishing Co./Elmo Publishing (SESAC)

New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Bruce Burch, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Publishing (SESAC)



CHORUS

Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere

Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.

Now you can say there`s no such thing as Santa,

But after suing John Deere, I believe...



He`d been a-guzzlin` old Jack Daniels

And smokin` that wacky weed-

He mixed it with his medication

And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice.



When we found him Christmas mornin`

We thought he had a heart attack.

But he had tar prints on his forehead

And incriminatin` hickies on his neck.

(ON HIS WHAT???)



CHORUS



But we`re all ashamed of Grandpa.

He took Grandma`s death too well.

Started watchin` porno movies

And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle.



It`s a better Christmas without Grandpa

Last year in church, he mooned the choir.

At first, we thought it was Alzheimer`s,

But looking back, we realized he was wired.



CHORUS



Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit

And they awarded me two mil.

You know Grandpa didn`t leave me nuthin`,

But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed.



Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras

Turned up on the grand jury,

(laughs) I bribed `em like Johnny Cochran

Did when they set O.J. Simpson free.

GUIL-TY!!!



CHORUS (x2)