Announcer:
Meet Eddie, 23 years old.
Fed up with life,
and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store
But on his way in,
he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly,
his conscience comes into play
Dr. Dre:
Alright, stop.
Now before you walk in the door
Of this liquor store
And try to get money out the drawer
You`d better think of the consequences.
Eddie:
Who are you?
Dr. Dre:
I`m your motherfuckin` conscience.
Eminem:
That nonsense.
Go in; grab for the money,
then run to one of your aunt`s cribs.
And borrow her damn dress
And one of her blonde wigs.
Tell `er you need a place to stay
You`ll be safe for days
If you shave yer legs
With Rene`s razor blades
Dr. Dre:
Yeah, but if it all goes through
Like it`s supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you
And they`ll expose you.
Think about before you walk in the door, first.
Look at the store clerk,
She`s older then George Burns
Eminem:
Fuck that.
Do that shit.
Shoot that bitch
Can you afford to blow this shit?
Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies?
Are you that bitch?
You really think *she* gives a fuck
If you have kids?
Dr. Dre:
Man, don`t do it.
It`s not worth it
To risk it.
Eddie:
You`re right!
Dr Dre:
Not over this shit.
Drop the bizket.
Eddie:
I will!
Dr Dre:
Don`t even listen to Slim, yo.
He`s bad for you.
Eminem:
You know what, Dre?
I don`t like your attitude.
Announcer:
Meet Stan, 21 years old
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
thing`s start getting hot a heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
But, once again, his conscience comes into play.
Eminem:
Now listen to me.
While yer kissin` her cheek
And smearin` her lipstick,
I`ll slip this in her drink.
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch`s earlobe
Dr. Dre:
Yo, this girls only 15 years old.
You shouldn`t take advantage of her,
It`s not fair.
Eminem:
Yo, look at her bush,
Does it got hair?
Stan:
Uh-huh.
Eminem:
Fuck this bitch,
Right here on the spot
Bare.
`Till she passes out
And she forgot how she got there.
Dr. Dre:
Man, ain`t you ever seen that one movie Kids.
Eminem:
No, but I seen a porno with some Nubians.
Dr. Dre:
Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?
Eminem:
Man, fuck that
Get that shit balled off and bail.
Announcer:
Meet Graddy, a 29 year-old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day`s work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
To find his wife in bed with another man.
Graddy:
What the *fuck?*
Dr. Dre:
Alright, calm down.
Relax
Start breathin`
Eminem:
Fuck that shit.
You just caught this bitch cheatin`.
While you at work, she`s with some dude
Tryin` ta get off?
*Fuck* slittin` her throat!
Cut this bitch`s HEAD OFF!
Dr Dre:
Wait,
Maybe there`s an explanation for this shit.
Eminem:
What?
She tripped,
Fell,
And landed on his dick?
Dr. Dre:
Alright, Shady.
Maybe he`s right, Graddy.
But think about the baby
Before you get all crazy.
Eminem:
Okay, thought about it!
Still wanna stab her,
Grab her by the throat,
Get yer daughter,
And kidnap her?
That`s what I did.
Be smart, don`t be a retard.
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped D-Barns?
Dr. Dre:
What`d you say?
Eminem:
What`s wrong?
Didn`t think I remember?
Dr. Dre:
I`m `a kill you, motherfucker!
Eminem:
Ah-ah,
Temper, temper.
Mr. Dre?
Mr. N-W-A?
Mr. A-K,
Coming straight out a Compton
Y`all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
Dr. Dre:
Cuz he don`t need to go the same rout that I went.
Been there, done that.
Aw, fuck it.
What am I sayin`?
Shoot `um both, Graddy,
Where`s yer gun at