Hands On Experience lyrics

[mr. eon]
Girls, girls, girls, girls
My right hand i adore
Spankin on my sheets till i can`t cum no more
I`m on a five-a-day plan, then i`m switchin hands
Not really carin where my sticky white lands
I`m half-asleep, you calm me captain kleenex
Cuz i be cummin on quilts until my dick wilts
Then i`m in the shower, jergens and vaseline-a
Right named palmer, left hand wristina
Like the artifacts, i come on wit the cum on
Might jerkin work, lookin up too many skirts
I nut on puffs after i huff the dutch
The ten pack pocket tissue comes in the clutch
So put on the kristy-kenya video
That`s four nuts a day, and one more to go

[el-p]
Check check check check
Dear sir,
I have been an avid reader of your magazine for many years now
But up until today i haven`t had an experience as really worthy of this column
The solo jux avidly have to repeat
I felt weak, felt like we were havin sex for a week
I wanna spark the bottle, wack it but i don`t have a sheet
So inevitably i pull out of the pocket
Just for an example that i`m huggin up a plug wit no socket
Now how soundly she slept while i fume
Vexed about the fact i couldn`t nut off
Pent up, balls blue, painful
I know that when woke she`s disdainful
Time to come up wit plan d for desparation
Pulled out the love monkey and shot off to the titties` location
At least in that direction
Upon further inspection, she awoke splashed in the head section
Shook by the goblety goods

"think-i-think i gotta" [q-tip] *cut and scratched*
"just beat it" "jerkin your jimmy but you still can`t come off" [phife]
"i thought i had it in the palm of my hand"
"just give me the pussy and i`ll be straight
If you don`t, fuck it i`ll masturbate" [eazy e]

[mr. eon] *rapping in kiddy voice*
All day i like to stroke it, then i poke it
And be like ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, are you alive little man
Got hands on experience cuz i jerk alot
Exotic hand creams that`s what i got
And a porno collection about the size of jada sulton
When i purchase movies, it`s usually out in fulton
Then i take it home and spank it, and wipe it with a napkin
Yo i love to jerk like ? love to hack
And maybe it`s a must like a kitty cat`s purr
I`ve been known to fuck my girl than jerk off next to her
Keep it real, yo yo bob stop stop jerkin and come do your lyrics

[bobbito]
I go solo wit my hand so you can call me han solo
Slap my skins, so they call me bobby bongos
Auto-matic, just for my peepee
Hit a vital nerve, lick her tits, curve
Jergens dry, no lotion for my hand motion
Don`t cry, dry your eye
Here`s a towel, my hands move like constipated bowels
I shoot extra far if a girl talks foul
Choke my chicken, slap my wanker
A girl lets me watch her with her tits out while i`m spankin
Then i`ll thank her, ah check it out
I`m harder than the hardest artist hard can get
Kbl in the place, workin a sweat
Doin beats strokin off until the twinkie gush
Until they amputate my hands i won`t sweat the puss
Unless she wants to, then i`ll worry about gettin, the monster
So i`d rather avoid the unwanted pregnancy
The headaches of an emotional attachment
I live my own fantasy world where anything goes
Besides the longer i go without sex
The closer bobbin my boloney comes to feelin like the real thing
Think twice about walkin barefoot on my bedroom floor
Yo mi, hit me up wit a magazine
I`m goin to bed man, i`m out