Hotel Can T Afford Ya lyrics

(This is a parody of Hotel California by The Eagles)

From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn
Rome called for a census, I was from Bethlehem
Up above from a distance a star was giving me light
My wife was heavy ‘cause her child was due
We had to stop for the night

So I stood in the doorway of Bethlehem hotel
And I was thinking to myself `I hope to heaven they`ll give me some help`
But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away
`There`s a place around the corner though where you both can stay`

Welcome, but the hotel can`t afford ya
Such a lovely place but we`re out of space
Ran out of room and the hotel can`t afford ya
It`s the time of year with the census here

My wife was definitely gifted, that`s what the Lord`s angel said
She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin
Spent the night in the barnyard, cheap slumlord`s rent
Some night to remember, some night to forget

So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife
I said `They probably haven`t cleaned in here since B.C. 65`
Animal voices were calling for straw and hay
Keeping you up through the middle of the night just as if to say…

Welcome, but the hotel can`t afford ya
Such a lovely place, but we`re out of space
Holiday rush and the hotel can`t afford ya
What a nice surprise for your silent night

He was born that evening and shepherds came that night
And they said `We`re all just visitors here of the Holy Christ`
And in an ass`s manger, they found the boy asleep
They started getting teary eyed so they went back to their sheep

Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door
They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before
`We`re late,` said the wise men `We had problems Christmas Eve
We`ve been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East`