I M So Good That I Don T Have To Brag lyrics

Now I`m warnin` all you women don`t stand too close to me cause you might catch fire
Now you`re talkin` to a man in a whole other kind of bag
Well I`m three parts tiger and one part snake
I`ll ball you to sleep and I`ll bite you awake
And I`m so good that I don`t have to brag
I need an adding machine to count up all the women I`ve ruined for other men
Now compared to me Paul Bunyan is a screamin` fag
I can shift more gears and pump more juice I`ll turn you every which way but loose
And I`m so damn good that I don`t have to brag
Now there`s twenty thirty beautiful women a sleepin` at the foot of my bed
And every night every night I hear `em sighin`
They say that I don`t miss a thing they say that I`m the lovin` king
And I`m too nice a guy to say they`re lyin`
Now I`ve been makin` love professionally since I was only six years old
And I really learned the way to wiggly wag
And still I`m such a modest man you know I`m twice as great as I think I am
I`m so good that I don`t have to brag
There`s a line of chicks startin` at my window and reachin` across the street
And it stretches `way to the other side of town
They come to me from across the seas on their knees just sayin` Please
And I`m too nice a guy to turn `em down
Now I once got captured by some Amazon women down in the Fiji Isles
They were fightin` over me to see who`d be my bride
I had to kill them all and I will admit it and I won`t tell you how I did it
But I`ll tell you each one was smilin` when she died
Now the day I die every woman in the country`s gonna go around dressed in black
And they`ll probably add another star to the American flag
And they`ll build me a monument forty feet high sayin` it`s a shame he had to die
He was so damn good he never had to brag
And I`m tellin` you men keep your eighteen year old daughters off of my back
And your wives they like the way I carry on
And why don`t you go look at your mother for a while
You notice she`s wearin` a funny sorta smile
Well that just means I`ve been there and I`ve gone
Now if you got a frigid woman I`m gonna cure her for a hundred dollars
You can bring her around my house at four o`clock
And you can come and pick her up at 4:03 if you can pry her off of me
I got a whole lot of others just waitin` `round the block
Now if you`re wonderin` how you`re gonna get to me
Better bring a Cadillac full of money
Cause I sure as hell ain`t gonna swing without no swag
I can make you creep I can make you crawl make you scream and climb the wall
And I`m so good that I don`t have to brag
So Baby don`t call me up at three o`clock in the mornin` no more threatenin` suicide
I mean go ahead and do it honey cause wakin` me up is a drag
And you can leave a note for all the rest sayin` at least you had the very best
And he`s so damn good that he don`t have to brag
Now I`m warnin` all you women don`t stand too close to me cause you might catch fire
Now you`re talkin` to a man in a whole other kind of bag
I`m three parts tiger and one part snake I`ll ball you to sleep and I`ll bite you awake
And I`m so good that I don`t have to brag