life`s got me mad, but if i had a midget i`d be glad
to watch him jump around on my nintendo power pad
he`d have a big head, short legs and long torso
the name that i`d give my pet midget is little gordo
i`d teach him tricks like back flips and side kicks
when company came over he`d preform and get tips
while im eatin` at night
in the kitchen he`d be able
to get the food scraps that i threw under the table
if my midget was ever bad
and acted enraged
then i`d take him to the bathroom
and put him in his cage
but if he kept actin` up and really made me sick
i`d hang him upside down
and poke him with a stick
Little Gordo
would be good, mosta the time though
he`d like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Send " If I Owned A Midget" Ringtone to your Cell