in order, for one to metamorphasize, from one`s inner self being projected out into
the astral plane and to rematerialize into an inanamite object or another living
organism for that matter is entirely and absolutely impossible, however
if i was your tv i`d be like, look at me
if i was shooting star i be like shooooom (peace)
if i was a fat bitches thong i`d be like hell nah
if i was a hotties thong i`d be like ahh
if i was a cuss word i`d just be like, fuck
if i was a rock on the moon i`d be chillin like sup
if i was a butthole i`d just be an exit
if i was the DOC i`d be like "man this is bull shit"
if i was your tires on your car i`d be like (car noises)
if i was the bumper on your car i`d be like ahh fuck
if i was a balloon i`d be like (balloon losing air)
if i was Alyssia Milano i`d be fucking Joe Bruce
if i was a radio DJ i`d probably say, point 103
if i was a richie ass bitch i`d be like, um ok
if i was spin magazine i`d put a mirror on the cover and be like
fuck us and all our readers, even this mother fucker
if i was your mental stress i`d be catching up
if i was your headaches every now and then I`d be like thuuummmp
if i was your tounge i`d be hatin` your teeth i`d be like
ah why do you try to bite me every time we eat?
if i was a chair i`d be like sit here
and if i was kid rock i`d cut my feathered wolf hair
if i was your muffler i`d be like shhh quietly
if i was a price tag i`d be like you ain`t buyin me
if i was a fresh DJ i`d be like (scratching record)
if i was jam master jay i`d be like(scratching record)
if i was a cheap clock radio i`d be like (radio static)
if i was barry white i`d be like what up ya`ll
if i was a nipple in the cold i`d be like (spring noise)
if i was your dead uncle i`d be like
if i was a rain drop i`d just be like (rain drop)
and i had an axe and your neck i might say Chop
[Chorus]
If i was if i was but i`ll never be
(if i was if i was but i`ll never be)
If i was if i was but i`ll never be
(if i was if i was but i`ll never be)
If i was if i was boy your killing me
(if i was if i was boy your killing me)
If i was if i was but i`ll never be
(If i was if i was but i`ll never be)
If i was a faygo at one of our shows
i`d fly through the air into an ocean of juggalo`s
if i was Andre the giant this is how i would be manly
if i was father mc i`d be like yeah what happened
if i was a mirror i`d find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
if i was a slider i`d slid out your but, i`d be floating in the toilet
looking at you like what?
if i was a pilot i`d be like air traffic control
if i was john denver i`d be like ahhhh
if i was a switch i`d be like flip me yoohoo
if i was a london cop car i`d be like (siren)
if i was chewbacca i`d get me a fresh ass ?face?
if i was vanilla ice i`d be like fuck yall i`m still paid
if i was a stop sign i`d just be like stop
if i was your wooden leg i`d still be giving you the hip hop