In The Black Room lyrics

I was thinking about thinking but it really didn`t get me very far,
so I thought I`d throw a Tarot but I only got the Priestess and the Star.
There`s a shadow cast between the future and the past:
the room and I agree to buy some time...
The cards don`t tell truth nor lies,
only options and cusp lines
the furniture in the black room.
I`ve been thinking abour acid, but, it seem there`s not a reason tobelieve.
I don`t make a vital breakthrough and it walks me like a dog upon a lead.
It`s all unreal and, the way I feel,
I`d like to try and make it on my own...
Going to the feeling is find:
I really have me a good pleasure cruise.
But, deep in my mind,
I`m no better or worse, just open to the walls.
Paint peels in the black of my room
I`m only talking about myself, ordering my treasure shell,
documenting these present feelings as the future sets me reeling...
What I`ll be is what I am,
I`m simply trying not to sham or fake.
Use vision as sense and not as crutch!
It doesn`t mateer all that much;
whatever happens we`ll all survive.
I`m only trying not to pawn my life.
When I`m (maybe) old and strait-laced, shall I then deny all that I feel?
In words of bitter compromise, re-smelt the wrath that`s in my eyes
like steel?
Be a hermit then?
Or be a miser?
Be a man who hasn`t managed yet to write his rules?
The Fool?
The future holds my hand in the room...
Well, then my ghosts shall steer down through the years
and lay a hand upon my soul
like ice.