Oh lighten up, where`s your sense of humor
They`re just tiny little rumors
That I started `cause I`m lookin` out for you
Oh settle down, I`m just a little jealous
and I`m sure those other fellas
never once believed the lies I told were true
Like the time I told that cowboy
that you used to be a man
and the doctor you were datin`
that you hide your wedding band
even if I am responsible for scaring them away
you really ought to thank me
I was doin` you a favor
`cause it never woulda worked out anyway
Oh can`t you see, the reason that I`m doin`
all the crazy things I`m doin`
Is because I really care about you girl
and I`ll admit I go a little farther
than I know I probably oughta
But it`s all because I need you in my world
Like the time I told that lawyer
that you spent a year in jail
and the salesman you were seein`
you hang out in cheap motels
even if I am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me
I was doin` you a favor
`cause it never woulda worked out anyway
I can`t stand the thought of you
with anybody else
I know I`ve gone overboard
but I can`t help myself
Like the time I told that dentist
you had seven little kids
and you doubled as a dancer at the strip club on the ridge
even if I am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me
I was doin` you a favor
`cause it never woulda worked out anyway