Kiss Me Im Shitfaced lyrics

I play in a band
We`re the best in the land
We`re big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There`s a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I`ll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let`s finish these drinks and be gone for the night
`Cause I`m more than a handfull you`ll see

[CHORUS:]
So kiss me I`m shitfaced
I`m Soaked I`m soiled and brown
in the trousers she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car
I`m an ex football star
with degrees from both harvard and yale
Girls just can`t keep up
I`m a really love machine
I`ve had far better sex while in jail
I designed the Sears tower
I make two grand an hour
I cook the world`s best duck flambe
I`ll take the pick of the LITTER
And girls jockey for me
I don`t need these lines to get laid

[CHORUS]

I`m the man of the night
A real ladies delight
See, my figure was chisEled from stone
One more for the gal then I`ll escort her home
Come last call, I`m never alone
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed
It puts Hugh Hefner`s mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and italian sports cars
I`m just here in this dump for the gain

[CHORUS x2]

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shittin`?

I`m a pitiful SIGHT
And I ain`t all that bright
I`m definitly not chisEled from stone
I`m a cheat and a liar
No womAn`s desire
I`ll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance
Cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I`m a monogamous man
No more one night stands
Come on, Honey let me take you home
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