Liars Bar lyrics

(heaton/rotheray)
Well sitting in a bar alone
Where no-one knows your name
Is like laying in a graveyard
Wide awake
You`re scared that if you cough or yawn
You might wake up the dead
So pretend to read a paper
Or just drink instead

I`m a stand-up comedian
But i`d sit down if i could
The world just seems
To want folk like me to stand
And the punch-lines seem to disappear
Like clouds across the sky
And the laughter could be real
Or could be canned

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At liar`s bar

Well living with a lying man
Could never really hurt
But living with a drunk
Well no-one deserves
And you`re looking for your husband
You`re not sure he`s still alive
Don`t bother with the cemetery
He`ll be down at liar`s dive

I`m a travelling businessman
I just stopped in for one drink
You`ll find
That i`m not like the other men
Their noses are red
Whilst mine is only pink
And they didn`t choose their drink
Their drink chose them

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At liar`s bar

And the grave-digger`s smiling
At his reflection in his spade
He`s visiting the seediest
The shallowest of graves
The vocal chords of elephants
And the characters of mice
They`re singing "whisky, whisky"
So good they named it twice

Well don`t pass buildings with lights on
If i said that i did i`d have lied
`cause what looks like a chinese restaurant
May have chinese new year inside
And son all my life i`ve been searching
The bars i`ve been in i forget
The lights outside ever brighter
But a light on the inside not yet

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At liar`s bar

And he`s a world-wide traveller
He`s not like me or you
But he comes in mighty regular
For one who`s passing through
That one came in his work clothes
He`s missed his last bus home
He`s missed a hell of a lot of buses
For a man who wants to roam

If i look rough i am rough
If i look sad i am
If i look broke i am broke
Just a broke down piece of man

I`ve turned over enough leaves
To fill an autumn
And if i had one final wish
I`d be your slave for a decade
If you could take me away from this
If you took me away from this
I`d be different you`d see
`cause i didn`t choose the drink
A drink just chose me

Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At liar`s bar

Well i`m smoking like a chimney
And i`m drinking like a fish
At liar`s bar