Lost That Pretty Little Gal Of Mine To Title Ix lyrics

I lost that pretty little gal of mine to Title Nine.
I found her in the stands but I lost her at the finish line
She was so soft and sweet
But now I find I can`t compete
I lost that gal of mine to Title IX.

Sure, I put my money on Billie Jean.
But that damn King has taken away my queen.
She learned a topspin
Now she won`t let me win
She doesn`t want me on her doubles team.

Her old letters made my heart melt
Now they`re on her sweater and they`re made of felt
In her bikini she used to look so cute
Now she does laps in her navy blue tank suit.

She does windsprints, I do the wash
I stuff zucchini while she`s playing squash
On a date I`m so tense
She`s itchin` to try her self defense
And violence I cannot bear to watch.

Her old soft spots are hard today
The problem I`ve got`s just the other way
She used to cheer me as I ran my race
Now I find I can`t keep her pace