Miss Macclesfield lyrics

She was the perfect woman,
She was my kind of a bird,
`Cos she stayed in the kitchen and she never said a word.
She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse,
But now she`s into barbeques and wine bars.

Oh, I used to go out with her `cos she cooked me all me meals,
Then one day she made it big when she won Miss Macclesfield.

She married and Italian just `cos he were posh,
And they honeymooned in Brussles and he played a bit of squash.
Next she wed an ale baron who come from Lancashire,
But he wasn`t rich, he was just another Wigan queer.

Oh, I used to out with here `cos she cooked me all me meals,
Miss Macclesfield....
Then one day she made it big, when she won Miss Macclesfield.

She`ll get fed up of buffets and one day she`ll come back,
`Cos she knows that all the real men live in Macc,
She`ll tell me that she loves me and she hated livin` with toffs,
So I`ll slip her a length and then I`ll tell her,
Fuck off.

I used to go out with her `cos she cooked a nice bit of grub,
She may have been a beauty queen but I`d rather go down the pub.
Miss Macclesfield, Miss Macclesfield