Now I`ve got a cousin called Kevin
He`s sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
The smoothest you can get them
He`s got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
My ma said they cost a packet
She won`t even let me explain
That me and Kevin were just not the same
Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn`t
He`s his family`s private joy
His mothers little golden boy
He`s gotta degree in economics
Maths - physics and bionics
He thinks that I`m a cabbage
Cos I hate university challenge
Even at the age of ten
Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then
He always beat me at Subbuteo
Cos he flicked the kick
And I didn`t know
Oh my perfect cousin ..
His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League into advise her
Now he`s making lots of noise
Playing along with the art school boys
Girls try to attract his attention
But what a shame it`s in vain total rejection
He will never be left on the shelf
Cos Kevin he`s in love with himself