Now I believe in lookin`
Like my time on earth is cookin`
Whether polka-dotted, striped or even checked
With some glamour guaranteein`
Every fiber of my bein`
Is displayed to quite remarkable effect
From your cradle via trousseau
To your death bed you`re on view so
Never compromise, accept no substitute
I would rather wear a barrel
Than conservative apparel
Because a dress has always been my strongest suit
Stayin` in or hitting townwards
From the top and working downwards
I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time
Whether wig or hat or turban
Whether clog, boudoir or urban
Not to strut your stuff outrageously`s a crime
And the few who are invited
To my wardrobe are delighted
As they wander through my things to find a route
That in negligee or formal
I am anything but normal
Because a dress has always been my strongest suit
Now you don`t need a recital
Of the reasons why its vital
That tonight my drapings will not be subdued
That from coronet to sandal
No one else is worth a candle
That I couldn`t make more impact in the nude
So bring me all my finest
Most audacious, my divinest
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot
Most arresting, most heart-stopping
Most free-flowing, most eye-popping
Because a dress has always been my strongest suit