Ah, I awakened from a wet dream in which I was restless {?}
My imagination could no longer take me there
So I slid into my copping haberdashery
And gave into the original jones: sex.
Now, my sexy jones was below sea level
The hornies occupied my being
I was at that stage where most men would say,
`Hey ho`, it`s your life or your lay.`
But I was cooler than that.
She said, `No compute.`
I spotted a lady who was also on the prowl
I could tell by her makeup, plus the scent was there
So I sashayed over to her, and, ah, spoke of my plan
She screamed and said, `Are you asking to make love to me?`
I said, `Is pig what`s in pork?
Or you gonna play hard
After all the trouble you went through to get chosen?`
She said, ah, `No compute.`
Finally, she said, ah, `I could, ah, probably go for what you`re talking about.
But it`s really about my birth control pill.`
I said, `All looks are not alike, all holes are not a crack.
When in doubt, vamp.
Or at least ad-lib.
And of course you know that spit don`t make babies.`
She smiled, and said, `No compute.`
But I could tell that she was getting interested {?}.
So off we went!
There was fun to be had, love to be made.
`Strange`, I said to myself after I laid,
Smoking a last joint before I ??? to sleep
`What a man will go for when the hornies, ah, set in.`
Well, suddenly as she laid there, mouth wide open, wig half off, snoring
Breath smelling like a 1948 Buick
I was sick with the filthies, and she smiled in her sleep
As if to say, `All looks are not alike, all holes are not a crack Send " No Compute" Ringtone to your Cell