Nobody Makes A Pass At Me lyrics

Performed by barbra streisand

I want men that i can squeeze, that i can please, that i can tease
Two or three or four or more!
What are those fools waiting for?
I want love and i want kissing i want more of what i`m missing

Nobody comes knocking at my front door
What do they think my knocker`s for?
If they don`t come soon there won`t be any more!
What can the matter be?

I wash my clothes with lux, my etiquette`s the best,
I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me!

I`m full of kellogg`s bran, eat grapenuts on the sly,
A date is on the can of coffee that i buy
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

Oh beatrice fair-fax, give me the bare facts,
How do you make them fall?
If you don`t save me, the things the lord gave me
Never will be any use to me at all.

I sprinkle on a dash of "fragrance de amour,"
The ads say "makes men rash" but i guess their smell is pour
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me.

I use ovaltine and listerine, barbasol and musterole
Life buoy soap and flit, so why ain`t i got it?

I use coca cola and marmola, crisco, lesco and mazola,
Ex-lax and vapex, so why ain`t i got sex?

I use albolene and maybellene, alka seltzer, bromo seltzer,
Odorono and sensation
So why ain`t i got fascination?

My girdles come from the best, times ads say they`re chick
And up above i`m dressed in the brassier of the week
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

I use pond`s on my skin, with rye-crisp i have thinned
I get my culture in i began "gone with the wind"
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

Oh dor`thy dix, please, show me some tricks,
Please, i want some men to hold
I want attention and things i can`t mention
And i want them all before i get too old

I use mum ev`ry day and angelus liplure,
But still men stay away just like iv`ry soap i`m pure
Just like i result of 99 and 44
One hundred percent p.o.
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me