Normal American Boy lyrics

Reporter:
He`s coming! He`s coming! Conrad Birdie is coming!
Hey Conrad, how about answering a few questions?
How do you feel about joining in the Army?
Albert:
Ah Ah Ah, how does he feel...You ask how he feels
He`s much too shy to tell you,
So, I`ll tell ya how he feels
He feels brave and eager!
Strangely humble! Proud to be a plain GI!
Rosie:
He would gladly face those bullets,
For he`s not afraid to die!
Chorus:
For he`s a fine, upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal
American boy!
Albert:
And that`s why he volunteered for...
Voice:
Volunteered? I thought he was drafted!
Voice:
And he appealed...three times!
Rosie:
Sing!
Girls:
We love you Conrad
Oh yes we do
We love you Conrad
And will be true!
When you`re not near us
We`re blue!
Oh, Conrad, we love you...
Albert:
Very nice!
Voice:
Say what`s the pitch on that Hollywood starlet, Conrad.
Are you two engaged?
Rosie:
Ah Ah...Is he engaged? Is Conrad engaged?
There`s absolutely nothing to the rumor he`s engaged!
Albert:
She`s a real pal, like a sister, but it doesn`t mean a thing!
And that eighteen carat diamond, it was just a `friendship` ring!
Chorus:
For he`s a fine, upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal American boy!
Reporter:
And why was your husband so mad?
Albert:
Sing!
Girls:
We love you Conrad
Oh yes we do
We love you Conrad
And will be true!
Reporter:
Hey Mr. Peterson, give us a scoop, is Conrad still drinking a lot?
Rosie:
Now listen here! This gossip must stop!
He goes to church each Sunday and he doesn`t touch a drop!
Albert:
He`s as decent as a minister!
Rosie:
Absolutely
He`s as sober as a judge!
He subscribes to ev`ry charity!
And his hobby`s making fudge!
All:
For he`s a fine upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal American boy
Reporter:
Is it true that you found Conrad in a Reform School?
Rosie & Albert:
That`s a lie!
A lie thru and thru!
I`ll tell you where he came from, here`s the story and it`s true!
He was born in Indochina,
Albert:
He was born in old Virginia
Rosie:
Son of missionaries there!
Albert:
On a thousand acre farm!
Rosie:
Very poor and very hungry,
What a cruel life to bear!
Albert:
From a line of wealthy planters,
Full of genteel, southern charm!
Rosie:
Soon he drifted down to Hong Kong,
To a waterfront saloon!
Albert:
In evening by the river,
In the moonlight they would croon!
Rosie:
That is where I heard him singing,
Albert:
That`s where Conrad started singing,
Rosie:
Underneath a Hong Kong moon!
Albert:
`Neath that sweet plantation moon!
All: Teens:
Oh Beautiful for spacious skies, We love you, Conrad!
Oh, yes we do!
For amber waves of grain. We love you, Conrad, and we`ll be true.
A-A-America America, Oh, oh, Conrad, we love you
God shed His grace on thee. We love you, Conrad, and we`ll be true.
All:
For he`s a fine upstanding, av`rage, modest, patriotic,
healthy, normal American,
American boy
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