It`s the most frightening thing in the world
It`s the scariest sight I`ve ever seen
The most chilling visual
The most terrifying scene
It`s awful, it`s crappy, it`s monstrous, it`s bad
It`s really really huge
It`s a fat man in a Speedo
I`m walking on a beach in a tropical isle
Hoping to enjoy the sand and surf
When I see a mound of baby-oiled flesh
Rolling and a broiling in the foam
The only thing that`s holding this
Explosion of Caucasian is
A tiny red synthetic coloured thread
I try to sink it in the sand
And entomb it in a castle but
It always manages to break free
The fat man in a Speedo
I`m having nightmares
I`m scared to open my eyes
I try to free myself
By going to the buffet
But there he is
He even eats in his Speedo
I take up a collection at the bar the next day
And everybody gives to the cause
To rent a helicopter that will take this whale
To Cuba and free the horizon from his bulk
We have a celebration
In one of his indentations
And throw a bowl of jello in the air