When your pubic hair`s on fire, something`s wrong
When you think you`re the Messiah, something`s wrong
When you mistake a plane for Venus, something`s wrong
When your girlfriend`s got a penis, something`s wrong
Something`s wrong........
When you like music more than life, something`s wrong
When you start sleeping as you drive, something`s wrong
Where your favorite drink is thinner, something`s wrong
When you`re proud to be a sinner, something`s wrong
Something`s wrong........
When a canary drives a tractor, something`s wrong
When your president`s an actor, something`s wrong
When your jacket`s plagued with dandruff, something`s wrong
If you think that this song matters, something`s wrong