Last night, all hope was gone
For opening up the big door,
Till Frodo guessed the word `Mellon`,
Stupid hobbits and riddle lore.
I kept my cool, I ain`t no fool,
Let me tell you What happened then
A monster chased us all inside,
And I ain`t comin` out again.
We`ll take the Ring through Moria,
The ancient dwarven hall,
Gimli says he`s comin` home,
But I`ll be taking a fall.
We`ll take the Ring through Moria,
Cut the tension with a knife,
Gonna battle with a Balrog,
I`ve gotta start a new life.
There were Seven Rings for the Dwarven kings,
Nine for Men, no doubt,
Three the Elves put on the shelves,
And the one that the book`s about.
Was I so wrong to fight Sauron
Alone for all these years?
Saruman, my friend, has made me cry,
So now I`m his Pal-in-tears.
We`ll take the Ring through Moria,
We`ll be passing Balin`s Tomb,
Gotta throw the One Ring
Into the crack of Mount Doom.
We`ll take the Ring through Moria,
We`ll fight a zillion orcs,
If they`re so tough, how come they lose
To Merry and Pippin, those dorks?
When a wizard studies Sauron
In a dusty old museum,
He misses things besides the Rings,
Hey, I Gollum as I see `em
I never really noticed
That Arwen`s so damn hot.
It just so happens Aragorn`s not here --
Would you like to -- oh. Maybe not.
We`ll take the Ring through Moria,
We`ll hope we don`t get lost,
Gimli`s looking nauseous,
There`s a real dwarf toss.
We`ll take the Ring through Moria,
I`ve got to lose a fight,
When I boogie with a Balrog,
But I`ll be Gandalf the White.