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The Ballad Of Irving lyrics

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<pre><font size='+2'>THE BALLAD OF IRVING lyrics FRANK GALLOP</font><br>The Ballad of Irving<br />
 Frank Gallop<br />
 <br />
 - Available on LP _When You`re In Love, The Whole World Is Jewish_, originally<br />
 released on Kapp Records KRL-4506 in 1966, but re-released in 1993 on Rhino<br />
 Records CD/CS 71084, paired with _You Don`t Have To Be Jewish_.<br />
 - also released as a single, 1966.<br />
 - also available on _Dr. Demento`s 20th Anniversary Collection_, Rhino Records<br />
 CD/CS 70743, 1991.<br />
 <br />
 He was short and fat, and rode out of the West<br />
 With a Mogen David on his silver vest.<br />
 He was mean and nasty right clear through,<br />
 Which was kinda weird, `cause he was yellow too.<br />
 <br />
 They called him Irving.<br />
 Big Irving.<br />
 Big, short Irving.<br />
 Big, short, fat Irving.<br />
 The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.<br />
 <br />
 He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread,<br />
 With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head.* [see below]<br />
 He always followed his mother`s wishes,<br />
 Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.<br />
 <br />
 Irving.<br />
 Big, fat Irving.<br />
 Big sissy Irving.<br />
 The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.<br />
 <br />
 A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he,<br />
 But Irving was looking for one forty-three.<br />
 Walked into Sol`s Saloon like a man insane,<br />
 And ordered three fingers of two cents plain.<br />
 <br />
 Irving.<br />
 Big, fat Irving.<br />
 Big sport Irving.<br />
 The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.<br />
 ----------------<br />
 [The following lines were edited out of the original release, and are only in<br />
 the version available on Dr. Demento`s 20th Anniversary Collection.]<br />
 <br />
 One day Bad Max happened into town.<br />
 His aim was to shoot fat Irving down.<br />
 Bad Max said, `Draw, and draw right now!`<br />
 And Irving drew, drew a picture of a cow.<br />
 <br />
 Irving.<br />
 Big, fat Irving.<br />
 Big gunfighter Irving.<br />
 The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.<br />
 ----------------<br />
 <br />
 The James Boys was comin` on a train at first sun,<br />
 And the town said, `Irving, we need your gun.`<br />
 When that train pulled in at the break of dawn,<br />
 Irving`s gun was there, but Irving was gone.<br />
 <br />
 Irving.<br />
 Big, fat Irving.<br />
 Big help, Irving.<br />
 The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.<br />
 <br />
 Well, finally Irving got three slugs in the belly.<br />
 It was right outside the Frontier Deli.<br />
 He was sittin` there twirlin` his gun around,<br />
 And butterfingers Irving gunned himself down!<br />
 <br />
 Irving.<br />
 Big, fat Irving.<br />
 Big dum-dum Irving.<br />
 Big dum-dum dead Irving.<br />
 The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.<br />
 Really.<br />
 <br />
 *The line about the 10-gallon yarmulke was on the original LP, but the single<br />
 version and subsequent LP pressings substituted the line:<br />
 Schlepping a salami and pumpernickel bread.<br />
 This substitution was made because the record company felt the joke would be<br />
 lost on non-Jewish listeners.<br><br><a href='http://www.lyricsbay.com' target='_blank'>LyricsBay</a> | <a href="http://www.lyricsbay.com/the_ballad_of_irving_lyrics-frank_gallop.html" target='_blank'>THE BALLAD OF IRVING lyrics FRANK GALLOP</a></pre>

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The Ballad Of Irving lyrics

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The Ballad of Irving
Frank Gallop

- Available on LP _When You`re In Love, The Whole World Is Jewish_, originally
released on Kapp Records KRL-4506 in 1966, but re-released in 1993 on Rhino
Records CD/CS 71084, paired with _You Don`t Have To Be Jewish_.
- also released as a single, 1966.
- also available on _Dr. Demento`s 20th Anniversary Collection_, Rhino Records
CD/CS 70743, 1991.

He was short and fat, and rode out of the West
With a Mogen David on his silver vest.
He was mean and nasty right clear through,
Which was kinda weird, `cause he was yellow too.

They called him Irving.
Big Irving.
Big, short Irving.
Big, short, fat Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread,
With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head.* [see below]
He always followed his mother`s wishes,
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big sissy Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he,
But Irving was looking for one forty-three.
Walked into Sol`s Saloon like a man insane,
And ordered three fingers of two cents plain.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big sport Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
----------------
[The following lines were edited out of the original release, and are only in
the version available on Dr. Demento`s 20th Anniversary Collection.]

One day Bad Max happened into town.
His aim was to shoot fat Irving down.
Bad Max said, `Draw, and draw right now!`
And Irving drew, drew a picture of a cow.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big gunfighter Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
----------------

The James Boys was comin` on a train at first sun,
And the town said, `Irving, we need your gun.`
When that train pulled in at the break of dawn,
Irving`s gun was there, but Irving was gone.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big help, Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

Well, finally Irving got three slugs in the belly.
It was right outside the Frontier Deli.
He was sittin` there twirlin` his gun around,
And butterfingers Irving gunned himself down!

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big dum-dum Irving.
Big dum-dum dead Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
Really.

*The line about the 10-gallon yarmulke was on the original LP, but the single
version and subsequent LP pressings substituted the line:
Schlepping a salami and pumpernickel bread.
This substitution was made because the record company felt the joke would be
lost on non-Jewish listeners.

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Ballad Of Irving lyrics

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