Too Many Sandwiches lyrics

Shopping spree for the family tree
Haven't seen your family tree in quite a while
Too many sandwiches and wine sherry stains
Down your best mans tie, what a speech
The band arrives, the granny's cry
Singer's tongue's in the barmaid's mouth, what a voice
Grandpa drunk a drop or two
His head's still sunk in the portaloo, what a man
You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice
And that's just tonight
The blue rinsed hairs lift up the chairs
The band's too loud, they're off
Down stairs what a noise
The bride and groom dance their dance
The singer mimes
There's still a chance
The bar maid smiles