Amish Paradise lyrics

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take look at my wife and realize she`s very plain
But that`s just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricty
At 4:30 in the morning I`m milking cows,
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows...fool!
And I`ve been milkin` and plowin` so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.
I`m a man of the land I`m into discipline
Got my Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin.
But if I finish all my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we`re gonna party like it`s 1699.

CHORUS-
We`ve been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
I`ve churned butter once or twice living in an Amish Paradise
It`s hard work and sarifice living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish Paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek,
I really don`t care, in fact I wish him well
`cause I`ll be laughing my head off when he`s burning in Hell.
But I ain`t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it,
An Amish with a `tude you know that`s unheard of.
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black...fool!
If you come to visit you`ll be bored to tears
We haven`t even paid the phone bill in 300 years.
But we ain`t really quaint so please don`t point and stare,
We`re just technologically impared.

There`s no phones no lights no motor cars not a single luxury
Like Robinson carusoe we`re as primitive as can be.

CHORUS-

We`ve been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise.
We`re just plain and simple guys lving in an Amish Paradise
There`s no time for sin and vice living in an Amish Paradise.
We don`t fight we all play nice living in an Amish Paradise.

Hitchin` up the buggy, churnin` lots of butter, raise a barn on Monday,
Soon I`ll raise another.
Think you`re really righeous, think you`re pure in heart
Well I know I`m a million times as humble as thou art.
I`m the pious guy the little Amlets wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin` points for the afterlife.
So don`t be vain and don`t be whiny or else my brother I might have to ger medieval on your heiny

CHORUS-

We`ve been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
We`re all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish Paradise
There`s no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish Paradise
But you`d probably think it bites living in an Amish Paradise.